


The Purpose of Living

by AnAddictionToCinnamonBuns



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:17:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9787334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnAddictionToCinnamonBuns/pseuds/AnAddictionToCinnamonBuns
Summary: Changgu may be gone from Yan an's lifeBUTLosing someone doesn't mean they're gone forever





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ;D Thanks Noahchaselexica for giving me THAT INSPIRATION TO DO THIS
> 
> that's why it's gifted for you <3 
> 
> But I don't think this chapter is very good, please bear with me xD

"Changgu please!" Yan an desperately shook the other's hand as his eyes started to close. 

"But..........I'm..........Tired..." 

"One more minute Changgu, stay awake for one more minute." Yan an bit his lip as Changgu's eyelids lowered a bit more, the door to the surgery room inching closer as the team of nurses pushed the stretcher to its limit.

"Yan an." 

"Yes, Changgu?" 

"I.... promise."

"Don't promise me anything! You're going to make it!" 

"I'll.......... always........be.......by.............your..........side." Yan an felt Changgu's hand slip through his fingertips as they reached the door. 

"No! Changgu!" Yan an tried to grab him but was held back by a nurse, assuring him that they were going to do everything to the best of their ability to save him. But it was pointless, the moment he let go, Yan an felt Changgu's soul leave the earth. 

 

He collapsed onto his knees, tears staining the ground as the loud beep of a defibrillator drowned out his sobs.................................

 

\- - - - - ---------------------------------------------------

 

Yan an could feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he saw the headline

Highway accident causes fatal death 

Sighing as he threw the newspaper in the garbage, he sat down by the window as he gazed out into the world, that continued to move, unknown to his depressed state.

"It's only been 1 week, but it already feels like an eternity without you here." Yan an sadly mumbled as he got up to grab a cup of his freshly brewed coffee. As he grabbed the cup, he felt a slight breeze tickle the nap of his neck, making him shiver. He turned around to see the window surprisingly opened. 

"Weird." Yan an said as he closed the window, only to stop as a butterfly slipped through the tiny crack and fluttered around his kitchen. His breath was taken away at how beautiful the butterfly looked.

He was never good with classifying animals but the butterfly's wings were colored a bright blue, neat black dots patterned it, it sounds very simple but something about it left Yan an in awe, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The butterfly flew past his face, its wing wiping a tear off of his cheek. It was only then did Yan an realize that he was crying. He wiped his eyes and stared at the butterfly as it flapped around. 

After a few minutes he figured that the butterfly should go back outside, he made the window wider, expecting the butterfly to leave, but it landed on his shoulder, facing him as if it was staring directly into his eyes. He continued his staring contest with the butterfly until he heard a knock on the door. 

He opened it to be faced with Changgu's sister, smiling sadly at him as she walked in with a box, the large gash on her right cheek stood out and she still had a neck brace on. 

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay as well." She walked into his kitchen and set the box on the countertop, opening the contents to reveal a couple of chocolate chip muffins. "And to see if you're eating." 

"I'm okay I guess." Yan an winced as she set her hand on his stomach, she lifted his shirt up slightly, revealing the slightly bloodied bandages. 

"I thought it would've healed better by now." 

"I guess it's not." Changgu's sister grabbed a muffin out of the box and offered it to Yan an, whom reluctantly took it. 

"We all miss him, it wasn't your fault." 

"That stupid drunk driver." Yan an muttered as his fist unconsciously squeezed the muffin tighter, crumbs spilling on the surface. The long forgotten butterfly on his shoulder took off and circled the crumbs, pushing the crumbs into a neat pile. Changgu's sister's face lit up at the butterfly.

"You got a pet butterfly? Isn't that a little out of the ordinary?"

"It just flew through the window."

"And it won't leave?"

"It hasn't tried to leave."

"It's so pretty, though, I wonder what kind it is."

"I'll look it up later."

"Text me when you do, I'm curiou-" BRRRINGGG She was cut off by the sound her cellphone ringing. Excusing herself, she answered it and started talking. After watching her talk intently, she hung up and smiled at him apologetically. 

"I have to go meet up with some people for the funeral." 

"That's fine." 

"It was nice seeing you again."

"It was nice to see you to." 

"I'll see you next week?"

"Of course." 

"Sounds good. Bye." Yan an shut the door behind her, turning back to see the butterfly still fluttering over the pile of crumbs beside the long forgotten muffin. He approached the countertop, only to see that the crumbs were arranged in a heart shape. He looked at the butterfly, slightly taken aback. 

"You're a strange butterfly." He swept the crumbs onto a plate and threw it away. He covered the muffin and put it in the fridge for later use. 

He observed the butterfly continue to do weird things over the course of the day, popping the bubbles that flew up from the soapy dishes he was washing, constantly flapping air onto the sensitive nape of his neck, and gathering the dust and dirt on the floor into several hearts as he showered. It all reminded him of someone but he didn't want to admit anything to his brain, the tears wouldn't be able to stop flowing. 

 

He sighed as he lied in bed, looking up at the ceiling and watching the butterfly fly in circles. 

"I've never seen anything as interesting as you." He frowned as he looked at the dead flower by his window, he had long forgotten about it even before the incident. He even forgot what flower it was supposed to be as it was so shriveled up. He felt sleep overtake him as he watched the butterfly settle itself over his heart. 

 

 

He woke up the next morning to see the butterfly nestled by the flower pot, a bright healthy flower suddenly making itself known.............

 

A bright pink carnation-filled Yan an's blurry vision.....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the story continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I wasn't going to care about this fic anymore xD and I was going to continue on with my other stories, but It's surprisingly received a little love yesterday so I pushed to write up a quick chapter, yes it's 1 am. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy~~
> 
> Also like, for any of you that have watched Pentagon Maker and they had to become girls and Changgu became "Yeo Ok"
> 
> No? Yes? Well just remember that

Peaceful

Looking at Changgu's face was all Yan an needed to calm down.

"I'm sure he's enjoying his time up there." Changgu's sister appeared with a hand on his shoulder. Her neck brace was gone and the large cut on her cheek was scarring. Yan an nodded, smiling slightly.  
He only flinched when she touched his stomach

"It's nice to see that its healing." Yan an heard shouting for everyone to gather around the casket. He saw the workers grab a few shovels. 

No.

They couldn't be burying him already, Yan an wasn't ready to see him go again.

"No!" Yan an waved his arms around and frantically tried to stop the workers.

"It's okay Yan an, everything has been said and done, it's time for him to go." Changgu's sister tried to pull him back, but he pulled away and continued to fend off the workers.

And then the butterfly flew across his face, he had forgotten that it was by his side over the last week

It leveled itself just under his eyes, wiping away his sudden tears with a swift flick of each wing, until his crying slowed down, everyone stayed silent.

Yan an felt something calming as the butterfly finished wiping, staying to flutter in front of him as it was trying to say something, Yan an smiled at it.

"I'm ready."

The butterfly circled over Changgu's body, his clothes were all white, cuts cleaned and covered with his hands folded over his heart.

Flying over his body several times, the butterfly settled itself over Changgu's hands and stopped flapping it's wings, coming to a stand still as if it wanted to go with Changgu. 

"You can start." Yan an gestured to the workers, they grabbed the lid of the casket and moved it over the duo.

 

That was the last time Yan an saw the butterfly and Changgu. 

 

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````

 

5 years Later....

 

And Yan an was still stuck to the same, depressing schedule. 

 

Getting up at 7am, going to work at the convenience store, and crying to himself over lousy dramas and rom coms. 

Yan an knew he should try something else, he sprinkled an occasional walk around town in his life, but overall he couldn't bring himself to move on, Changgu's sister always tried to help him, but she was always busy with work and recently being pregnant, Yan an didn't want to burden with asking her to come over. Often out of the store, Yan an's manager finally noticed his regular sadness after noticing the light sad aura around him when he wasn't busy and supervised the store over a week. He brought it onto himself to do something.

 

Yan an felt something was fishy when he saw Hwitaek standing at the cash register, whenever he was in the store he would be in the back or anywhere else that wasn't the checkout area.

"It's your day off hyung."

"I know, but I think you need some time off."

"I don't need it hyung."

"Yes you do, now go off, there's a line." Hwitaek smiled brightly at Yan an as he exited the store. Yan an frowned, what was he supposed to do. He figured he could go back home and finish that one drama that he was close to finishin-

*sniff*

Yan an was brought out of his thoughts by the light sound of sobs. 

*sniff* 

Yan an looked into an turned around the corner to see a little girl huddled on her knees crying. She was dressed in a bright blue and white coat and her long black hair was covering most of her face.

"What's wrong?" Yan an knelt down to talk to the girl eye to eye.

"I'm lost......" She looked up at him and Yan an could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Where are your parents?"

"I don't know?"

"What's your name?"

"Yeo ok."

"How old are you?"

"4."

"Okay Yeo ok, how about we get some hot chocolate first?" The little girl slowly nodded at his suggestion, happiness gleaming for her eyes at the promise of chocolate. Yan an held her hand and led her a couple of lobkcs until they came across a cafe.

 

PENTAFE GRAND OPENING

Interesting, a new cafe Yan an has never heard of, at least it looks appealing from the outside. They stepped inside, the light scent of coffee infiltrated his nose, and the chestnut brown furniture looked of the highest quality, they stood in line for a few minutes until they were called up,

"Hello, can I take your order?" Yan an was breathless when his eyes finally focused on the features of the barista in front of him. The guy was shorter with jet black hair,

Hyunggu, The tag displayed his name.

"Hi?" Hyunggu tried awakening Yan an from his senses.

"2 hot chocolates!" Yeo ok happily answered for him. 

"Perfect! That will be 2.50$" Yan an wordlessly handed over the cash, blinking at the cute boy. Hyunggu giggled softly at his actions. "Your hot chocolate will be right on the side!" 

"Let's go!" Yeo ok dragged Yan an away from Hyunggu to the side of the counter, where she managed to detract Yan an's focus away from the working barista through a game of I Spy.

"Here's your hot chocolate!" Hyunggu had appeared a minute later with their mugs and leaned forward, his voice coming to a whisper. "I added a little extra whipped cream for you guys." Hyunggu's wink nearly sent Yan an into another world.

"Thank you!" Yeo ok chirped as she grabbed the mug and Yan an's hand, leading him to the table. Yeo ok pouted when she looked into Yan an's cup.

"No fair! I want a heart too!" Yan an looked down at her remark, shocked to see a whipped heart delicately formed on top while Yeo ok only had a basic swirl. 

"I'm sure he was just trying different shapes." Yan an lightly ran his fingers through her hair to calm her down a little. but quickly retracted his hand out of shock as he watched several pieces of hair fall out onto the ground. 

"Don't worry! The doctor said my hair will fall out. But umma said that I can get any wig I want! All the kids will love my hair." Yan an nodded sadly at her, if only Yeo ok could realize the bigger problem. 

"Yeo ok?" His head turned to the unfamiliar tone calling the little girls name, he turned to see a woman that was presumably her mother, as they shared a few facial similarities. Yeo ok ran up to her mother and hugged her.

"I'm so glad that you found her, I turned one corner and she was gone just like that." 

"It was my pleasure, she's a nice girl." The woman smiled and nudged Yeo ok. "Don't you want to say thank you." Yeo ok looked up at Yan an again and something seemed to be very familiar about the glint in her eyes.

"No matter what, someone is always watching over you." After a few seconds of staring into his eyes intently, Yeo ok smiled and turned back to her mother. "Where did you learn that honey?"

''I don't know, it felt like I had to say it!" 

"That's nice, anyways thanks again......"

"Yan an." 

"I'm Yeunhye, I hope we can cross paths sometime." 

"I hope we do too." Yan an watched as she left the cafe hand in hand with Yeo ok, another patch of hair falling at the doorstep of the cafe as it swooshed closed. 

Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Yan an turned around to the counter, catching Hyunggu's gaze on him for a milisecond before Hyunggu suddenly seemed interested in the invisible coffee stain on the marble top, scrubbing the spot. Something felt endearing to Yan an as he could see the light blush tint Hyunggu's cheeks, and the way he smiled when one of his coworkers told him a joke. 

Before Yan an knew it, he was walking back to the counter with a napkin in hand. 

 

He left a minute later with a different napkin, 10 new digits written messily in a rush, but enough for Yan an to read.

Maybe he can finally move on from Changgu.......................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope It didn't suck too bad ;p, thinking about it, this story will probably be 5 chapters, maybe a few more but It definitely will not exceed 10 chapters~~
> 
> I don't know when the next update will happen ;p  
> Pls I know my spring break is coming but that doesn't mean I'll have time, I'm a very busy guy XD but maybe if I push myself to do these midnight writes then maybe that chapter will come in a week. 
> 
> I'll leave you with a little sample for the next chapter that I totally am making up right now. 
> 
> They locked eyes and the familiarity came crashing down onto Yan an, it wasn't the right situation for him to talk so he offered an empathetic smile as they ran down the hall. Shoes squeaking with each step, as if the gag of squeaky shoes will cover up the gloomy atmosphere.......
> 
> *WOOF* *WOOF*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the story continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back :^) Nothing else to rlly say I guess ;p 
> 
> JUST REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST CHAPTER
> 
> And I did rush the heck out of this chapter *claps*

Yan an walked into the hospital gripping a bulky white envelope. He shuddered when he saw a stretcher being rushed down the hall with a middle-aged man on it, bringing back unwanted memories. 

It was his and Hyunggu's first anniversary too, a connection that developed from shy texts and cafe visits to cuddling on the couch and light kisses in the morning. 

Yan an was only at the hospital to pay off the last of Changgu's hospital bills, they had allowed him to hold it off until he got a firm footing on his income and moving in with Hyunggu finally helped him to save up. 

The receptionist let out a nod in acknowledgment when he came up to the desk, not bothering to look up.

"I'm here to pay some hospital bills."

"Name?"

"Yan an." The woman typed something on the computer, nodding again after a few seconds. "The remaining amount is 1200$."

Yan an handed over the envelope and looked around while she counted the paper bills. He heard loud sobs coming from a room nearby, he surprised himself when he realized that he had left the desk and was poking his head into the room

If he wasn't mistaken, Yeunhye was standing by the bed in the room, the source of the sobs, several people were also situated around the area with tears on their face.

"If I-i c-could have o-one m-more second to s-see you s-smile, I w-would d-do anything in t-the w-world to d-do it." Yan an's eyes finally focused on the figure on the bed as Yeunhye continue to talk. 'Yeo ok."

The loud beep of a flatline filled Yan an's ears as a single tear formed in his eye. He doesn't know why he feels so affected by it, they only spent an hour together.

Scanning the lifeless body of the little girl, a peaceful smile was spread across her face, heavy eye bags and her sickly skin color indicating the internal war that she had fought well.......but lost. Yan an choked back a sob as his eyes glazed over her head, she had a bandana tied firmly around her head. Large white letters that read "Never Give Up" Were painted across the blue surface. Yan an ran out of the room as people's heads turned to him.

The receptionist offered Yan an a sympathetic smile when he reappeared at the front desk, no attempt whatsoever to cover the tears on his face.

"Everything'a been paid for, here's the receipt and have a nice day." Yan an accepted the paper along with a tissue with a small smile, turning around to leave. He was about a meter from the door when a hand stopped him on his shoulder.

"I guess we did cross paths again." Yan an turned around to see Yeunhye smiling sadly. 

"I'm sorry that we had to meet like this." 

"It's fine Yan an, things happen for a reason, and I'm sure she served her purpose, she could make anyone smile." Yan an nodded at her words. "Don't cry Yan an." Yeunhye laughed as she wiped a tear away. "Says me haha." Out of the corner of his eye, Yan an could see Hyunggu approaching the entrance, he must've taken longer to the point of worrying. Yeunhye could see him glancing at the door.

"Have to go?" 

"Yeah.." 

"Then I hope fate allows us to meet again. Bye, Yan an." Yeunhye waved as she disappeared into the hallway. 

Yan an walked out into Hyunggu, who looked up at him in concern while wiping a tear from his cheek.  
"Are you okay? You were gone for almost an hour." 

"It's nothing, let's go to that restaurant." They walked to their car in silence, hand in hand, Hyunggu being mindful of Yan an's current state. 

Yan an grabbed the handle of the car door when he stopped, he felt something touching his other hand. He turned around and he caught a glimpse of a little girl smiling at him brightly, but the image disappeared as he looked up at Hyunggu, who smiled at him warmly.

He turned around and pulled Hyunggu into a hug, his sobs echoing throughout the parking lot.

 

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

 

3 months later

 

Yan an sighed as he walked into his apartment, he dealt with at least 30 rude customers today and Hwitaek's bad mood made the workplace sickening to linger in, he walked in when he realized that the lights were off, Hyunggu should've been home by now.

"Hyunggu~~~ I'm home~~." He pouted when he was met with silence. 

"Fine, I'll just have the leftover pizza all to myself then." Yan an shouted out as he walked into the kitchen, raising an eyebrow when he saw a large chocolate cake in the fridge. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YAN ANNIE was written in large letters. 

Oh

He forgot that it was his birthday today

He was in such a rush in the morning that it never cross his mind

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" The lights flickered on and Yan an turned around to see Hyunggu dressed cutely in a kiddie birthday hat. "BIRTHDAY KISSES!!"

Yan an giggled as Hyunggu repeatedly kissed his lips, soon they both lost count and it ended up turning into a make out session, Hyunggu groaning as he was pushed against the countertop. 

"Wait," Hyunggu whined as Yan an pulled away from him and looked around, being alert all of a sudden.

"Did you hear that?"

"No......." 

"It sounded like a bark." 

"Oh, that was nothin-" As if on cue, a little puppy skidded into the room wearing a tiny white birthday hat and a blue bowtie. "Fuck....." 

"Where did this come from."

"Well.." Hyunggu coughed and situated himself up. "It's your birthday present!"

"Really?!?"

"Yup! I guess the dog got out of the box, though."

"What kind is it?" Yan an scooped up the puppy and looked into its eyes, it had a lightly yellow coat and its eyes looked into Yan an's in such a confusing and familiar feeling.

"Golden Retriever, it's only 3 months old too."

"It's so cute! Does it have a name?"

"Nope, you get to name it."

"Hmmmmmm." Yan an continued to stare at the dog, thinking hard of a good name when "Yeo One." Yan an blinked at the name that blurted out of his mouth.

"I think Yeo One sounds perfect."

"I guess it does too, thanks, Hyunggu." Yan an pecked Hyunggu on the lips, Yeo one still in his arms. "Shall we watch a movie?"

"It'll be my pleasure."

 

They spent that night watching a movie cuddled on the couch with the leftover pizza and the chocolate cake. Yeo one snuggled on their laps sleeping soundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was nice :) 
> 
> Lemme just help you because I was trying to make it obvious   
> *cough*  
> Yeo ok died 3 months ago, and Yeo one was born 3 months ago *wink* AND THE COLOURS   
> Put your thinking hats on people, there's something else to *cough* Numbers *cough* that's all I'm saying
> 
> Now that I have everything I think figured out, 2-3 chapters left that I haven't started on xD, so I'm going to say 1-2 weeks lmao.
> 
> I know I'm on spring break, but please, I have work and training and shit xD My life.
> 
> Have a nice day <3

**Author's Note:**

> Pink Carnation - I'll never forget you  
> IT'S NOT DONE, THERE'S MORE
> 
> there's MOREEE OK;p you'll just have to wait until I push myself to write the next chapter xD
> 
> I hope you understood what happened as well ;p  
> I can clarify anything if you have questions 
> 
> I hope you liked it <3 GOOD NIGHT  
> I'll edit it over this week as well ;p


End file.
